As I grew older, I became more aware of my ethnicity. But I sort of rebeled in a sense. I didn't really want to be Thai. I could've cared less at the time. My parents sent me and my brothers to Thai school when we were young so we could learn to read, write, and speak Thai. We bithced at our parents until they let us quit. I'm a Thai school dropout. My parents didn't like the idea of us not being in Thai school, while all of their Thai friends' kids were enrolled. I think they tried to teach us at home by speaking Thai to us. I remember once that my mom told us that she wouldn't speak to us unless we spoke Thai to her. That failed. Although we did learn such key phrases as "I'm hungry!" and "Gimme money!"

My family also used to go to Thailand a lot when I was young. I hated it there. It was so hot there that it makes summer in California feel like winter. And it didn't help that mosquitos would take turns biting me until I had I had bites all over my body. I hated it there so much that my parents would always threaten that they would send me there if I caused trouble or did bad in school. That would always scared the shit out of me.

Most of the food my mom cooked when we were younger was Thai food. I also hated Thai food at the time. I guess that would explain all the trips we made to McDonalds when we were younger. Even when we went to Thailand, we would eat McDonalds. The times we did have Thai food for dinner, I remember I would always be the last to leave the dinner table. I would wait until everyone was done and left the room, then I would dump whatever was left on my plate, in the trash or in the garbage disposal. My mom always caught me because I didn't know how to turn on the garbage disposal at the time.

My parents have a lot of Thai friends. They were pretty active in the Thai community. And they would always attend these Thai meetings and parties. God, how I dreaded these outings! Little Thai punk kids running around everywhere. Me and my brothers didn't really know anyone because we dropped out of Thai school. All the other kids were pretty much friends with each other from Thai school. As I grew older, my parents stopped forcing me to go to these events. I was quite stubborn with this whole Thai thing, you could say. I think my parents had finally given up on getting me to grasp the Thai culture.

However, things took a drastic turn when I went off to college. I rememeber going to a Thai restaurant with some friends, and thinking, "Hey, this is pretty good." After that I have been eating at Thai restaurants quite often. And during the summer before my sophmore year, my family went to Thailand again, but this time I actaully enjoyed it so much that I didn't want to leave. I was finally started to accept the fact that I am Thai. Maybe I was just becoming more mature, or perhaps it was because my parents had given up on me. Kids do tend to rebel more when they are forced to do something. Another thing that helped a lot was that I was meeting Thai people who I really got along with. I ended up joining the Thai club at my university, where I met some people who are now some of my closest friends. Being around the club has allowed me to learn more about Thai culture as well as learn to speak and understand Thai, which is kind of cool. Now I notice how much my mom talks about me(in Thai) to her friends. I don't think she even realizes that when she gossips about me around her friends, that I am understanding almost everything she is saying. Sometimes I just want to tell her, but I think I'm better off not saying a word. :)

Probably the most significant factor in my little relevation, was meeting my girlfriend, Jane. Seeing how proud she is of her country has been very influencial to me. Not only has she helped me improve my understanding of the Thai language, but she has taught me a lot about what being Thai means. Now I can honestly say that I am proud to be Thai.