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This lady walks into her psychiatrist one day and says:
"Doctor, I just can't have an orgasm."
"Do you masturbate?" he asks.
"No luck" is the reply.
"How about cunnilingus?"
"Nope"
"Kick-start vibrator?"
"Wakes up the neighbors, but not me." she complains.
"Hmm, looks like a problem. Wait here." the doctor says as he
walks into the next room. He walks out with a black velvet
case and places it on his lap. Her eyes widen as he opens it,
revealing its contents.
"What is it?!?", she gasps.
"It's a VOODOO DICK," he proclaims, as he hoists the foot-long,
meaty shaft from the case. "It is VERY powerful, but it can fulfill
your every desire. Watch. VOODOO DICK, hand!" he commands. The
dick leaps across his lap into his open palm faster than the eye can see.
"Ooooh," she sighs.
"VOODOO DICK, case." The dick returns in a shot to its case.
"You may take this, but you must promise NOT to abuse its power."
"Certainly, of course, anything you say," she sputters as the
wetness in her mouth matches the wetness in her panties.
So she takes the magic missile with her, thanking the good
doctor and hurrying out to her car. But she can't wait to get
home, so she prys the lid open on the seat next to her.
"VOODOO DICK, hand!" she commands. It flies eagerly into her
hand. She is amazed by the size of this veiny tool, and quickly
removes her underwear. "VOODOO DICK, pussy!" she screams, and it
obliges. Burying itself inside her in an instant. She gasps with
pleasure.
"VOODOO DICK, fuck me." It begins to thrust in and out.
"VOODOO DICK, faster!" It quickens the pace while the woman sits in
sexual bliss. Unbelievable sensations course through her body.
"VOODOO DICK, harder!" It pounds away furiously as orgasms begin,
one after the other. Soon the woman begins to tire, unaccustomed
to this sort of satisfaction.
"VOODOO DICK, stop."
BUT IT WON'T STOP !!!!!!
"VOODOO DICK, stop now!", she yells.
It continues its relentless assault.
"Quit it, VOODOO DICK. That hurts"
It is oblivious to her desires. She finally manages to wrench
it from her pussy and throw it out the window. Just as she gets the
window rolled up, it is there against the glass, trying to get it.
She quickly starts the car and screeches away in terror. 60, 70,
80 mph. The VOODOO DICK hot on (and for) her tail. 90, 100.
The woman starts to pull away as the dick fades away behind the
last corner.
Sirens blare.
The women is babbling senselessly as the officer approaches her car.
"You-you have to let me go. There is this-this thing- gotta go"
she yells.
"Lady, you were doing 100 miles an hour. What the hell is your
problem?"
"You don't under-understand. There is this VOODOO DICK
following me." she sputters.
"A WHAT?", the cop yells?
"A magic VOODOO DICK. It's after me!" she exclaims.
To which the cop replies, "VOODOO DICK, my ass!"
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