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---------- Forwarded message ----------
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
FM: MANAGEMENT
SUBJECT: SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and
productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all
employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY
TRAINING (S.H.I.T.). We are trying to give employees more S.H.I.T.
than anyone else.
If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the
job, please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the
top of the S.H.I.T list, and our managers are especially skilled at
seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T you can handle.
Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T will be placed in
DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T). Those
who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T seriously will have to go to
EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T). Since our managers
took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they don't have to do
S.H.I.T anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T already.
If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job,
training others. We can add you name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING
LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T). Those who are full of B.U.L.L.
S.H.I.T will get the S.H.I.T jobs, and can apply for promotion to
DIRECTOR OF EXTRA EMPLOYEE PROGRAMMING (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T).
If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF
TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).
Thank you,
BOSS IN GENERAL
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
(B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)
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